Holding On!

Self-sabotaging

because I didn’t do what I was supposed to be doing.

Because I didn’t wake up on time.

Because I didn’t go with my routine.

Now, I think I am not good enough.

All the motivations in the world,

all the podcasts about self-image,

all the books about silencing your inner critic,

and loving yourself a little more every day —

and then, there it is.

The moment.

That I’ve been waiting for

to self-sabotage.

Because things didn’t go as planned.

But writing it down,

realizing it,

and then — coming back.

Doing it all again.

Heavy-hearted.

Bottling it up.

Drained.

And then —

an hour later —

Everything’s okay again.

Just because

I decided

not to give up.

And it’s a cycle now.

A loop

I never meant to live in.