couldn’t sleep after watching it
It’s still on my mind.
Dexter, 42, revisiting his uni after 20 years and reminiscing (lost in the same conversation with Emma in the same place), reliving the moments and their first conversations in his head, reignited a sense of nostalgia in me.
Would I be the same when I am 42?
Would there be any regrets? Would there be any,
“I wish I’d done that. went there. said that.”
Have I lived my life properly till now?
And what defines the word, “Properly”?
It’s just life and we live it the way we are told until we discover our paths, we get to know ourselves more.
I haven’t given ‘living life to the fullest’ a thought during the first 4–5 years of my 20’s. After I was done with being too serious for it, living it, controlling things, and acting like an elder to everyone else without even realizing that I was too just in my 20s.
Early 20’s.
And I haven’t even experienced a life where I could tell others what to do when I don’t even know it yet.
I have no regrets. I hope I have no regrets when I’ll be 42.
I want to live it fully. I want to go for everything that I want. I want to try every new thing. I want to go out more. Read more. Laugh more. Love more. Express myself more. Travel more. Write more. Smile more. Dance more. Singing loudly more.
Everything.
Just more.
Life is not about regrets. There will always be some when we look back, just do not let them be too big to feel guilt over.
In the end, when Dexter looks back at his 22-year-old self and the last conversation he and Emma had that day, in his imagination, he just tries to change one thing that would have taken their lives on a completely different mode;
“By kissing her right there!”
Then he could’ve had more time with her.
A nostalgia, looking back at your life when you are old, all the insecurities of your 20s, the career choices, relationships, and then at once, you are in your 40s and looking back at your 20s and 30s.
How everything felt possible at that time.
How we felt that we were forever gonna be this young and carefree.
But time passes, and so do we.
Looking back at the past few years of my own life, I have some regrets but not major regrets; I am happy that I chose to love and not overthink it and enjoy everything that came along with it including the pain, little heartbreaks but still the power to love.
I hope that when I turn and look back at my life, I see the happiness and small great moments of my life that mattered.
…………
